Monday, 19 February 2007

Irritating Radio One DJs

I was listening to Radio One the other day and realised how irritating their DJs can be sometimes.

Now this will mean nothing to anyone abroad, but you may have the equivalent in your country, infact, I'm pretty sure the annoying radio DJ is an international archetype. The 'DJ' (I use the term in this post loosely, pressing play and stop on a CD apparently makes them worthy of the title) who was on Radio One on Saturday...maybe it was Edith Bowman, I can't remember, anyway she was getting seriously excited about something terribly mundane. A competition of some sorts. Ah yes - it was a competition to go to the cinema (woooo!) with other competition winners (wooooo!) and probably one or two unknown radio one DJs if they can be bothered to come (wooooo!) to see a film of their choice (wooooo!) in the amazing city of...BRADFORD! But this isn't just any film, folks! Oh no, it's not a new release or a preview of one that isn't out yet...it's an old one (think Ghostbusters) that you've already seen once when you were twelve then never again! I sort of felt sorry for the woman; not only has she been instructed to incessantly big up this half wit event, she also felt the need to pretend that she had entered the competition as well! To win herself tickets! To go to the cinema! With some over excitable Heat-reading members of the public! and some DJs who have probably mixed nothing more than an egg their whole life! Wah! But the worst bit about it was that her excitement brimmed over into every phone conversation she had that afternoon, making the already awkward small talk between two people who don't know eachother even more cringeworthy by her fakeness....

'Annnd I think we have Sandra on the phone, hi Sandra how are you?'
'Oooh hiiiyaaa Edith I'm alright thanks! How are you?'
'I'm just great! Mostly I'm excited about this competition we've got running...you could go to the cinema and see a film chosen by Scott Mills or Chris Moyles, who is so hilarious - imagine what his film choice will be like! Do you like the cinema, Sandra?'
'Oh yes I do like the cinema on a Saturday night.'
'Wow yeah films are great aren't they? You should definitely enter the competition, I have, you could win the chance to go with one of our very own Radio One DJs, don't worry we'll introduce you to them because you won't recognise them...but it's going to be so good! I'm so excited about it! The film will no doubt be hilarious! It's so exciting! I can be your new friend like I'm pretending to be now!'
'Oh Edith that sounds great I'll definitely enter that competition'
'Make sure you do, I'm looking forward to it! Now what song can I play for you today Sandra?'

etc etc.

Its so tedious. I want to hear music, not a hyperactive DJ feigning near orgasmic interest for the opening of a crisp packet. It's so obvious what they've been told to plug that their small talk starts to become patronising. Yes, the people listening to your inane chatter on the radio are often bored housewives or motorists passing journey time, but this does not mean that daytime radio DJs must compensate by injecting fake excitement into our boring little lives. It is largely for this reason and because on other stations the adverts every 15 minutes jar me, that I listen to the radio only when I have forgotten my iTrip and CDs for the car. I don't listen out of choice and I certainly don't tune in to hear the wisdom of a 26 year old graduate from the depths of Scotland's Whistle FM telling me how excited she is about the forth coming Radio One event where all of their over-played current top ten chart artists will be rocking out before a crowd of teenagers clad in leggings and leopard print-dresses, accompanied by ALL yes ALL of the Radio One DJs...And you can be a part of it! Yes you! Just call us on this number and there's EVERY chance you can be one of the ten thousand people who gets through. All you have to do is answer this question:

Who in their right mind wants to spend the evening listening to rehearsed small talk with a Radio One DJ?

The prize is yours for the taking, the answer is 'definitely not me'.

1 comment:

JamesC said...

Top 3 most annoying R1 DJ's:-

1. Sara Cox. "Last night I went out and got hammered on beer. In pint glasses. I'm a laddette me. With an annoying Lancashire accent"

2. Chris Moyles. "I've just made a joke that isn't funny....but i'll pad it out a bit with a long silence....and then repeat the joke again.. because I've run out of material"

3. Jo Wiley. "I like obscure songs. I'm going to play one you've never heard of. You probably aren't as cultured as me so you won't like it. But i'm going to rave about it for the next 3 months anyway."

 

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